Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thanks, and Giving


At mass this morning, our pastor made a strong, bold declaration that's stuck with me since then, and I'm laying it out here before all of you to think about and take to heart – most especially as another annual celebration of thankfulness draws to a close, and we move into a season of giving. Think about this:
Everything we have that is in excess of what we must have to meet our needs… belongs to the poor.
Period.
Think on this. Do not forget it.

Thanksgiving-Day Leftovers


As I admitted a few days ago, Thanksgiving Day was celebrated at my home with a small, mini-gathering of chunks of the family. In attendance were my mother, older brother Sarge and my sister-in-law-in-law Choggun-Nunim, my older daughter Shellie, and an overweight Maine coon cat masquerading in size and shape and warmth as a large furry turkey someone must have left under the dining-room table.

As I write this – midevening – sister Mew and her husband Arnold, plus kids Casper and JT, are still expected here to help clear out the leftovers… once football's done being played everywhere it's being played.

Mother and I joined farces – er, forces – and did decide to augment the roast beast with a Mae-West sized turkey breast; Sarge and Choggun-Nunim brought kimchee and kimbob (but no chopsticks!), and Shellie some nice crescent rolls and a fantastic (home-made… obviously did not learn from me) cherry cheesecake. No irony there – even though, remember, the gal's shed about twenty pounds thus far, and as always looks beautiful (thanks again to her mom).

Brother Doc – recovering from surgery – and family are out near the Chesapeake Bay, and no doubt recovering from their budgie-approved tryptophan repast. And Alicia and Levi and baybay-Dannay Lee in Boston may well have been eating treyf… so, nu?

Another can't-show is lovely thespian Daughter-Two, Portia: as always, her traditional, Bavarian, and likewise-lovely, mom keeps her little lambs in the corral, come major holidays.

So I gave our young'n a call. After three-odd (some very odd) years of Spanish, she's capstoning her high-school swath with elementary German, and doing quite well. A tutor at home helps… but is hardly necessary. And it turns out she did inherit a thing or two from her dad, though: a penchant for language and puns, the poor lass. As example, once – arrived at entirely on her own – she asked me, "What does a German call a bunch of fruit that's gotten in his way?"

Hah! "Fruit" in German is "Obst"; so I answered: "An Obst-acle?" Bingo.

Example two: she asked: "Then what do you call a German who sells beetles?" Portia meant insects, or possibly VW's, but I was thinking John, Paul, George, Stu, Pete, and Ringo. That one stumped me, but I should at least have guessed, "Ein Musik-car?" – playing off "Musiker", meaning "musician".

Nein. "Ein Verkäfer!" – and for you non-students of German, this is quite funny, since a "Verkäufer" is a "salesman", but "Käfer" means "beetle"! That got a good laugh from me! (Later, I ran these past Daughter One, Shellie, who's better in German than her sister… and has no tolerance whatsoever for puns. They fell flat – and I could have punned off that one in really bad taste, since "fall flat" in German is "durchfallen"… a word that also applies to, uh, intestinal distress. Never mind.)

Sensing the good daughter was on a roll, I decided to butter her up – in a manner of speaking, that is. So I delegated to her the annual Thanksgiving-stinker bilingual pun on her mom (Mutti), who amazingly steps right into it every year; I love this about her – so does our little Fräulein. We take full advantage of it.

Very little coaching at all, and then Daughter sets the phone down a moment and asks: "Mom – are we having duck again this year?" (Conversation is in English; for reference, the German word for "duck" is "Ente".)

"For Thanksgiving? No, we're having turkey." (Mutti's tone is "well, of course it's turkey – it's turkey every year". And "Thanksgiving" in German, by the way, is "Erntedankfest"… so you can see where Miss Innocent-Face is about to lead her poor mom.)

Portia's eyes blink for a moment; (faked) bafflement. "Well… isn't it Ente-Dankfest?"

Stunned pause. Mutti's face takes on a look of utter disgust – say, as though she'd just been slapped by a large, wet fish. And she turns away. Portia's laughing really hard, and Mutti knows where that one came from. No, I didn't see this – but I've gotten that look from her Mutti so many times over the past nearly-twenty years… early on, my name became a curse-word around the house. Heh-heh…

 

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Stuffed Full of It Already


You know, people, I'm really trying to get other stuff done here –
1. Job placement
2. College registration
3. Pluck a turkey
4. Finish constructing a multimedia CD-ROM (~360+ text pages, several dozen music tracks, dozens of images and MHT/HTML freestanders, etc.)
5. And plenty more
 – and you go and send me something that gets my soapbox-feet to itchin'; sigh
Fine.
Lovely former coworker (and wry Brit-wit) HeyJude passed me a making-the-rounds email (right on the heels of the same one, from fellow former coworker Electra… but HeyJude's got a cuter accent). The spelling is poor, punctuation ditto, the rhyme is lousy, meter shaky, and it's got unseemly neocon splotches all over it. Nonetheless, here it is, unretouched by your Aging Child:
T’was the month before Christmas
When all through our land
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.
See the PC Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
It might hurt people's feelings the teachers would say
December 25th is just a 'Holiday'.
Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Some thing was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda
As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears
You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears
Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace
The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say
Shout “MERRY CHRISTMAS”, NOT Happy Holiday!
I responded, copying Electra:
Brother; ain't that the truth! (And you've just sent me a blog-seed… thanks!)
I'm anything but conservative: left of center on a bunch of key issues (e.g., anti- death penalty, pro- increase of spending on health care, education, etc.), but I'm certainly solidly traditional (not "conservative"!) on some issues: family/moral values, no longer pro-abortion, etc.
So whenever a grumbling email comes my way with the names "Clinton" and "Boxer" in it, it sets my teeth on edge, because I can guess that the author is conservative (e.g., pro-gun, pro-Bush, etc.).
Nonetheless, sometimes I do find myself with "strange bedfellows", and at times will concur (not "agree", okay? shudder!) with their stances. This happens to be one.
Putting up a "Merry Christmas" sign is not the same thing as posting a picture of Torquemada under a banner of "Accept Jesus or die!" Puh-lease, people! It really is okay to say "Merry Christmas".
E.g., I've been to two Jewish services (one a seder, the other a wedding), and out of courtesy wore a yarmulke (kept it, too – they're cool!) both times… and didn't walk away afterward with the impression that someone was about to force-convert me into abandoning ham sandwiches and going grocery-shopping on Saturdays.
Likewise, should I have the delight of joining some Buddhists in temple, Hindus in an ashram, Muslims in a mosque, and/or animists around a roaring fire, I'll follow conventions and take my shoes off, squat on the rug, burn incense, chant, rub blue mud on my belly, and so on. That is respect for their beliefs. I'll bone up on my Arabic, Hebrew, Hindi, Tibetan, Farsi, Japanese, Tlingit, and so on, to accommodate my ability to participate as a welcome guest.
"Equal rights for all" I embrace, and will fight and die for. All are free to worship in my neighborhood, so long as the other neighbors are not greatly inconvenienced or threatened. Please do not hurt anyone out of worship, do not tear up the streets or park on my lawn, and try to keep the noise down a bit between, oh, let's say 11 PM and 7 AM. Beyond that, have at it – and say a prayer for me, too, okay? I'm doing the same for you, folks.
What I will not do is bend over backwards (nowadays it's hard enough forwards) to avoid the remotest possibility of leaving my sister/brother non-Christian (or even non-Catholic) feeling less than respected and honored. This country was founded as a majority-Christian nation, and ought still to be so. Non-Christians are a minority here – though only in faith.
As fellow-citizens (or visitors… legally, too, please), they have all the rights and protections and duties that I benefit from as well. I am committed to seeing to that through all legal means, and do so heartily. That is equality. I will shed my O-neg blood to protect them and their children. To cite just one particular faith's writings: the Koran says, "If you mingle your affairs with them, they are your brothers" (and sisters, of course!); see Surat 2 (al-Baqarah) 220.
Now, get this: EQUALITY DOES NOT MEAN EQUAL BILLING.
"Equality" in this regard is equal protection under the law, equal rights (life, liberty, pursuit of happiness; voting, employment/pay, non-discrimination, and so on.) It is not "equal" in the sense of one-to-one equal, follow? Or I'd be obligated to build one – uh, let's say "temple to Ra, the sun-god" as a catch-all, okay? – build one Ra-temple for every church I build, one Ra-school for every Christian school, set aside one Ra-holiday in the governmental schedule for every Christian holiday set aside.
I will not post a billboard to the almighty Ra to offset the small pile of Christmas cards I plan to begin sending out after this weekend. Ra will understand, I'm sure. I want my knee-jerk, fellow-left brothers and sisters to understand that, too. I'm really with you guys.
Now, let's celebrate Thanksgiving… turkeys!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Academia Nuts


Incredibly, the hire-hunt goes on!

While His Holiness waits patiently in the wings – I've not at all forgotten my commitment to correct an inexcusable misapprehension out there – I've been continuing my work and focus on signing up with my next employer.

For no clearly understandable – yet nonetheless very intriguing – reason, I've found before me a good number of open positions at colleges/universities. This began with an awesome prospect at Mt. St. Mary's in Emmitsburg, Maryland. The prospect itself fell through, and this was a serious disappointment, since that particular administrative position (while not spectacularly remunerative) had as its benefits <deep breath> free tuition at a Catholic university, with onsite seminary.

That university itself remains on my short list of schools I hope to apply to as well for completing my degree, ditto their seminary (Deus volent).

Other earlier employment prospects, too, have dropped away, but my determination is rock-solid on 1) reemployment, 2) education completion, and plunging deeper into 3) professed-religious life. I have to prioritize first on that pesky matter of employment first, since it makes the second item (and thence the third) possible.

These past couple weeks have seen me testing and interviewing for a couple different positions with a county government not especially far from The Mount. I should hear on both these prospects early next week; stay tuned, and join me at matins in the meantime.

Today I turned in a pair of résumés to a highly accredited secular university, close both to that county seat, and to Mt. St. Mary's. The level of work for which I'm looking, and am – pardon any tinge of ego here; it's really not intentional – qualified, had one of the vice-presidents of that university herself promptly acknowledge (albeit in a single-word email) receipt of my application. Here's how I know I'm not being egotistical about aiming high relentlessly: it gives me the shakes.

The epitome of these shakes (only before and afterward, dem Gott sei dankbar) came early this week with my interview at yet another (private) educational institution. This one, too, I won't name while I'm under consideration. Its location is rather more removed from The Mount, yet no less wonderfully scenic (except hilly, where the Emmitsburg terrain is up against the Maryland mountains).

The position involves direct administrative support of the college provost (who fits squarely under the college's president on the org chart) and his academics-staff. Thus the interview was not with him alone, or his executive assistant (which is, essentially, the position he's looking to fill), or both, but with <further deep breath> his entire six-person selection committee.

After a terribly embarrassing delay in arriving (due to a bobble in the directions, and a bobble in my following them correctly), I was ushered by one of the administrative/academic people into a boardroom, shown to the head of the table… and six more people filed in. To break the ice and lower my pulse, I admitted dizzily to the provost, "I feel like I'm going for my PhD!" He half-smiled in a very deanlike way and said, "We can't grant you one of those, but we'll give you two academic credits when you're done."

About ten years ago I was interviewed by two people at once – first and only time for me, for such a tie-tugging honor. Later, after hiring me (almost immediately following the interview) the two of them told me that it had seemed to them I'd responded very well, demonstrating a keen skill at thinking fast on my feet. I appreciated the compliment, especially since I'd actually been seated at the time.

Being interviewed by six people at once – seated, standing, or under heavy sedation – was not three times harder; it was at least nine times harder (three-squared): half of these people had PhDs. Me, I don't even have my Associate's. Yet.

And you know, I didn't stammer, I didn't stumble, and I sweated only where they couldn't see it. I looked them each mostly in the eye, and answered their questions – many quite standard for an executive-level administrative position. I laid out for them why I was interested in their institution (I'd researched it some before leaving for the interview: sine qua non!), what my work habits were, how I would go about working with them should they hire me, and so on. I'd already furnished them with my résumé and references – a single page each, even though this is no longer de rigueur.

(I wish my dad were still around; he lived and breathed University for forty-some years – he'd have been impressed, supportive, and loaded me with tons of advice.)

I met with the provost afterward, in his office; I recognized two of his posters as being Roman works… and then misidentified them as of Pompeian-Roman, rather than Egyptian-Roman. He discussed the position further with me, and I discussed his interviewee further with him. But he was overdue for another meeting, and we had to cut this short. Being weak on my Greek, I did quote a line from Caesar on the way out, and earned another half-smile.

Following this, I took time to view the college (set on the grounds of a former Protestant (?!) seminary) with one of my non-doctoral interviewers (she's been my liaison with the selection committee, and with the provost). We get/got along well, a relationship I did not mar – I think – when I nearly choked to death on my water while we stood there looking over the quadrangle.

We'll see how this one turns out, and I'll let you folks know. The distance is a bit of a stretch (though the drive as beautiful as one can find in the Pennsylvania/Maryland area in the autumn), and the salary would be a third less than at least one other just-interviewed spot. Nonetheless, I remain quite interested, and have not ruled it out.

Interviewees: do it by the book. When you've interviewed (and recovered… and don't take long about it!), be sure to send a thank-you letter. Sure, you can do it by email today. But don't. For me, I felt the provost and his team deserved the added courtesy/consideration because of the demand it must have been on them to coordinate their schedules around the interview, and to bend further around my <coff> arriving late.

So the next day – Wednesday – I spent more time sweating over my thank-you letter to the provost than I had spent sweating in his boardroom. But this was for the same reason: I wanted this to turn out well. Following is the text (within reason) of my thank-you letter. Yeah; I can do this.

[name, address, cell-phone number, email address]

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

[provost's name, title, office address]

Dear Dr. [provost]:

I would like to thank you for the time you and members of the [name] College [committee name] staff took to meet with me regarding the [formal title] position with [his institution].  In particular, I deeply appreciate your time and consideration, and that of your staff, in readily accommodating my delayed arrival to interview for this position.

Having spoken with you and your colleagues, and presented you with responses I hope to have been reasonably sufficient and illuminative toward your filling the position, I remain firm in my assessment that I am an excellent candidate – even absent prior academic experience.

Beyond my technical and professional strengths, and the breadth of experience I would bring to this position, I know that my positive manner and personal commitment to providing exceptional support – and to individual growth and development – are keen assurance that I would be able to step in facilely.

Thus I am most interested in working for you and the [department] Division.  I look forward to hearing from [my liaison] once the decision has been made regarding this position.  Do please feel free to contact me at any time if further information might be needed.  My cell phone number is [etc.].

Thank you again for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

[AgingChild]

The next day – yesterday – I wrote, printed, signed, and mailed thank-you letters to each of the other five interviewers, basing them somewhat on the above. My liaison/interviewer had given me the full names and titles of the other interviewers, and I double-checked online as well for middle initials, PhD status, and so on, to make sure I'd address their letters and envelopes completely and correctly… making darned sure I didn't put the right letter in the wrong envelope, either.

Again, this is good manners, professional courtesy, and a further opportunity to show that I can write in business/academic English, and print out professionally-prepared (by me) envelopes for mailout when needed/requested. You try it.

Worst-case scenario is that these folks do not hire me. I can accept that, because I've now had it confirmed for me, again, that if they would take the time and interest to give me a good second look for a good position, then other potential hirers will do the same.

Added tremendous bonus: this has been great practice, regardless… and I've even developed for myself a great thank-you letter template.

And so, what's next, while I wait for word on all of the above positions? Well, there happens to be yet another educational institution that can use what I have to offer.

Within a couple hours or so of Baltimore and Washington, DC, are at least two very good schools for the deaf. And this one is looking for an Executive Assistant. In their posting for this open position (with a salary substantially higher than anything else I've applied for), I have all the skills and requirements listed. I am also an easy study in languages… and this particular institution requires as well that their new hire be willing to learn (American) Sign Language.

Dealbreaker? Not on your life. I learned the ASL alphabet almost thirty years ago, I can spell out without difficulty, read a wee little bit of signing… and would not hesitate to learn more. I have a (non-deaf) friend who teaches it, too. You kidding??

Time to fill out another application; this is going to be fun, and another great challenge.

 

Talking Turkey


Getting this far-flung family together for a holiday celebration is quite the challenge nowadays. In different years, the three generations of us have been in various countries far away from this land, and any of half a dozen or more US states. Now with most of us living within a couple hours' drive or so of the East-Coast mega-knot-polis… it's still no easier.

Brother "Doc" Rich (he isn't) will be in recovery from surgery, so Thanksgiving will be low-key for him, the good wife, two kids, and cageful of mine-trained canaries; they'll be having their tofurkey near the Chesapeake Bay.

Sister Mew, husband Arnold, and their own two children, will be at her in-laws'. Not having her gang, and Doc's, this year is quite the loss – they're just about the only decent cooks this family can offer.

Sister Alicia, husband Levi, and newest family member Dannay Lee, live closer to Boston, so are taking it particularly easy this year, as well they should.

Brother Sarge, the Marine, is stateside this year, and will show up with fork, knife, and leaf-blower wherever he might be needed. He's penciled in.

My younger daughter, Portia, will be with her mom for their own Erntedankfest en famille. Older daughter Shellie, though, will not be with her mom, nor with a wonderfully-lucky young gentleman's family. So she and I will be pooling our efforts with my mother this year – and this may be an indicator of desperation on Shellie's part, the poor child. Here's our series of emails from yesterday and this morning, trying to get the cats all lined up:

-----Original Message-----
Subject: Gobble

So where is Turkey Day being held this year?

Shellie Schilt

-----Original Message-----
From: Pop Etc.
Sent: Thursday, November 15, 2007
7:03 PM
To: 'Shellie'
Subject: RE: Gobble

Good question! We're still working that out; the Mew-crew will be with Uncle Arnold's family, eating this.

Your Aunt Mew fired off a note to Unc-Doc earlier (no response just yet), seeing whether he'd like the honors. If he bows out, we'll probably commandeer Sarge's kitchen. Grandmother gets exhausted by having a houseful of loud, obnoxious family (not that there are many other kinds, this side of des Vaterlands) in her own home, and would still rather ride in a car with me for an hour each way. This is quite brave of her.

Anyway, I'll let you know once we've got it figured out… although I'm betting you'll hear it from Mew before the rest of us do!

Love,

Dad

She and my sister are very close… and nearly indistinguishable, other than the fact that my daughter's arguably more mature.

-----Original Message-----
Well, I talked to Auriga last night, who talked to Emma [Mrs. Doc, Riga's mom], who said Doc's having his kidney stone operation the day before Thanksgiving so "it will be a quiet one" around their house. Whether that means they're up for having Thanksgiving, I don't know. Mew mentioned the in-laws' so it will be quite strange not having someone besides Auriga and me shooting things out their nose and choking and nearly peeing.

"Mature" being relative, if you'll pardon the pun.

P.S. I called you twice yesterday – way to check your phone for missed calls.

Shellie

-----Original Message-----
Subject: Re: The Beef About the Turkey

Okay, here's the latest:

We'll have our fête at in town after all; the Doc-gang won't be there, but Sarge and (probably) Choggun-Nunim will, bringing along salad and a thorough brushing for Tiger. We'll have roast beef and taters – and Sarge has tapped you to bring along the just-desserts. (I pointed out to him that if they were just desserts, they'd also be calorie- and fat-free… earned me a chuckle.)

Re the phone, Fräulein Kluge-Hosen: I switched it to "vibrate" in advance of testing for another County-government position early yesterday afternoon. As usual, I didn't switch it back to Normal mode afterward – you know I'm not truly cell-focused, so it still hasn't entered my processes and routines to check for missed calls.

So, yes, I do apologize. You may lay about me with the wet noodle next week. (Rinse first.)

Back to Thanksgiving: don't let the absence of Casper [Mew Jr., or "mini-Mew"], Auriga, and Mew hinder your free expression (and constitutionally guaranteed right) of opinion via airborne food- and former-food products. This still entertains Sarge, and Grandmother might be a bit more flexible with fewer female descendants doing so. You can borrow my oversize bib if you'd like.

Love,

Dad

-----Original Message-----
Well, I'll check with Auriga to see if she wants to come up. I can always go down and get her on Wednesday (I shudder at the thought of driving that night, but hopefully if I leave at 7:30ish after Weight Watchers, traffic won't be too bad) and then bring her back Friday or something.

Maybe I can finally get the Korean character for "family" out of Sarge or Choggun because I lost another 1.6 pounds this week and am almost 2 pounds below the tattoo reward for losing my 10% - I'm down 18 pounds now J well, that figure might be a bit smaller, given the Thanksgiving pot luck we had at work yesterday. My stomach is still punishing me.

I have to take her word on these figures, pardon probable pun. I just don't see where she needs to lose an appreciable amount of weight. I suggested to her once that her not looking anywhere close the weight she claims is because she's denser. This did not go over well.

Shellie

-----Original Message-----
Subject: Re: Pounds, and Rounds

Heh-heh…

Congratulations to you on your eighteen pounds; keep it up! I mean, down. (And if it wouldn't annoy you, I'd add the rude Stu Cutler comment about "What's the goal? Another ten?" But I won't.)

And it goes without saying – so of course I'll say it anyway – that we'd love to have [Doc's daughters] Auriga (and Vega, if she and her 'rents are okay with you gals dragon her around). This would give you someone to cut up with, so to speak, and provide the rest of us with even more entertainment, laying bets to see which of you turns redder, etc.

Re Christmas: Mew's also going to be setting up the annual online gift-exchange site for us. Knowing you, I'd like to suggest this particular gadget for your wish list:

 

Repeating: I'm proud of how well you've been doing with Weight Watchers – and especially with your own unsurpassable willpower. It's been very inspiring!

P.S.: Keep open-minded on making yourself some extra bu¢k$ with your great writing and tale-telling skills (e.g., a column in an online mag for twenty-somethings)… and an open-mike night for you sometime at a comedy club (after a couple solid drinks) would be a real hoot for the rest of us.

Love,

Dad

-----Original Message-----
Yeah it's definitely not easy, but the results are more than worth it. Plus, we both know how stubborn I am, so for once that's actually a big help. My goal was to be down 1.8 by Thanksgiving, so I really want to get that last .2 off for Wednesday. I saw my ex and his family a couple Saturdays ago and their reactions to seeing me were priceless. I haven't visited since I started WW, so I guess I looked a lot different. Naturally, X's reaction was the best J

But I think Auriga wants to stay home so I doubt she'll be coming up. Mew and Arnold and the kids are going to stop by in the late afternoon, so they should get there a couple hours ahead of Sarge.

Shellie

-----Original Message-----
Subject: Re: "Stubborn" Is NOT the Same Thing as "Suborn"!

"For once" your stubbornness was a big help? For once? (Grown) child of mine, your stubbornness has been a tremendous help all through your life, and through you has aided plenty other folks (even whether they like it or not) as well. It's one of several admirable and enviable things about you!

You know, I'm really curious about your meet-up with the Mr. X's family… so could you save it for entertainment next week? I know we'd all be tickled to hear about it, in fact.

Re the Mew-Crew: I'm guessing we'll tell Sarge that things start promptly at one… so he'll be arriving a bit later than Mew + 3, yes. Pending Grandmother's plans, let's assume late afternoon; JT and Arnie should be able to fill in an empty corner or three, too.

Chow!

Love,

Dad

-----Original Message-----
There's nothing really to tell about the visit; el X said he was coming home a month or so ago and we couldn't work out a time to hang out and were able to do so a couple weekends ago. It was good to see everyone, but I guess I can give you an update next week. Really, nothing to tell – except that, obviously, he loves me. J

Shellie

-----Original Message-----
Subject: Re: Compliments, Complements, and Condiments

Of course he loves you! Who wouldn't? Who doesn't? Anyone who says they don't… is a bonehead, and is lying through their teeth.

And to paraphrase you: way to duck and weave around some compliments, Missy. Just say thank you, bow graciously, and look away. Anyway, it'll be great to have you over next week; desserts okay by you? Any other menu-suggestions? (E.g., I might make up a good marshmallow salad, if your points would allow that.)

Love,

Dad

-----Original Message-----
I wasn't trying to duck and weave; I didn't notice anything aside from the obvious stubbornness comments. Plus, I am trying to multitask and am failing miserably.

As far as food is concerned: I just suggest the typical turkey, taters, stuffing, (hopefully minimally burnt) crescent rolls, and veggies. I never really liked marshmallow salad but am pretty much throwing all points restrictions out the window. I weigh in on Wednesday and won't weigh in again until the 28th, so I will have plenty of time to burn things off – as long as I'm not as uncomfortable for 18 hours again like I was after yesterday's feast. I brought a no-bake cheesecake and crescent rolls to the pot luck and I can throw some together again if you and Grandmother want. Just let me know.

Shellie

-----Original Message-----
Subject: Re: Roll Play

Whoah-there; shields back down, Riker. My "duck 'n weave" quip was light-hearted, typed with a crooked half-smile and practiced light-shake of the head... I might not have conveyed that. <hangs head... rolling eyes non-visibly> And I'll bet you a nickel and a half that you're multitasking fine, too.

We already have the roast beast, so the only turkey(s) for us next week will be, well, me and Sarge. But we'll all get stuffed. Although… some kind of beef-friendly stuffing would be a great idea – and I think we already have the rolls, too. I'll take a more proactive hand in those, so hopefully the carbon content will be minimal.

PS, Shell-E: I really do like your writing/wording style; these chuckles are good for my morale, and probably burn off a few calories, too.

PPS: sorry about the 'mallow salad… should we warm up a pumpkin pie for you?

Love,

Dad

-----Original Message-----
You're having ROAST BEEF for Thanksgiving? That's weird. And re marshmallow salad: one of the few things I like less than it is pumpkin pie. =P Apple pie is good though *angelic grin*

Shellie

-----Original Message-----
Subject: Re: Roll Play

Incredibly, I can still sometimes wrap a hand around your ankle and tug before you even notice. I know how fond you aren't of pumpkin pie, which is why I suggested it. And since you've been deputized Daughter-Director of Downright Delicious Desserts Department, I know we'll have a great apple pie, and no pumpkin.

Re the beef: we've had that for a while (but it's frozen, not green), so we're just being cheapskates about it. This also saves time and aggravation otherwise spent on plucking the turkey, who generally does not appreciate the endeavor anyway.

I'm betting further you can talk Mew into doing up a great sized turkey for Christmas.

Love,

Dad

I'll have to get on the phone quickly and let Beej – Shellie's mom – know that our daughter will be headed up there afterward, likely still screaming. Except... I don't know where my cell phone is. Maybe Shellie will call?

 

Thursday, November 1, 2007

"And when October goes…"


October, just ended, is quite a month for this family, in particular for three of us (your off-the-radar Aging Child being one of these). I don't want to hog the blog – although, heh, it is mine – but let me lay it out a bit for my occasional reader or two, starting with me and winding back down to yours truly.

The month starts out (near enough) with my birthday, or not long after it, which is why I've done my best to drop out of sight from late September to early October: I honestly don't like the fuss made over me, and have come to most prefer spending that span in a monastery – really! – in prayer, meditation, self-examination, and sampling the monastic life. It's the best of ways for me to start out a new year of life.

Of course, the last couple years – this and last year – poor Spartacus has had to tolerate my loud and mystical company, given his secure homestead's day-drive proximity to a particular shrine I'd wanted to visit. But I think he's been a bit miffed at my divulging some of his blockhouse's hi-tech security measures; so he and wife and kids (and probably dogs and rabid cat as well) have – since my most recent visit – taken up practicing with a longbow and throwing-axes… I kid not! (Details and photos some other time.) He and Mrs. Sparta already have crusher-handshakes (I assume all their kids do, too), so I expect the shafts and hafts are all flying some serious distances. Neighbors, be warned! And, since these are low-tech, I can't trigger them with pinecones… which means my next visit there will see me either heavily padded and armored, or driving a second-hand M-1.

But back to the significance of October to my own family. About three weeks after my birthday, there falls my dad's birthday… which he missed this year for the fourth October in a row, owing to the still-sad date now forever falling between his birthday and mine. We laid him to rest most of a week later, the day before his birthday. This date also held a particularly different anniversary for me: eighteen years before that, my wife and I separated, later to divorce.

Moreso: at the same time and on the same day as Dad's funeral, my father-in-law's funeral was also being held. I urged of Shellie (my and Beej's daughter) that she attend that one… being the favorite (and eldest) grandchild on both sides, this double-blow to her heart was more than she could easily bear, so I spared her having to choose which grandfather's funeral to miss. I don’t regret in the least having had her be there by her mom's side, rather than my own.

Beej needed this badly; when I brought Shellie up to her and spoke briefly with her just a couple days after Norman's passing – while I was still very much reeling from the loss of my own dad – Beej, still quite attractive, looked understandably awful: face very pale, eyes utterly haunted like those of a soldier still trapped on the battlefield. Incredibly, amid whatever turmoil was still roaring through her, Beej somehow was able to offer me her sincerest condolences on the passing of my father. I was deeply touched by this kind gesture, and nearly brought to tears over it.

Norman was a man impossible to close any door on. He was everything my father was not: strong, quiet, self-effacing, very skilled around the house and with tools, loving, protective and defensive of his wife and children and grandchildren (well, my dad did love his grandchildren, too), firm where firm was needed, and gentle and yielding where that, too, was called for.

Picture Abraham Lincoln half a foot shorter; shave off his beard, soften his face, toss away the stovepipe hat, and you've got Norm, close enough.

He gave me his only daughter, the apple of his eye (who in turn gave me a lovely daughter of my own). And he remained close and a friend even after Beej and I separated and divorced. He did not hesitate once to come down to my own home and read me the riot act (with both barrels, and at full volume) when I was being a real jerk about some of the last few divorce issues. And he also once came into my home to give me a hug and tell me he loved me. I have no clear memory of my own father doing that.

Norm, I wish I could have been at your funeral that day (I did make it to his wife's just a couple years afterward) – the only thing that could keep me away, did keep me away: having to bury my own father. I’m very glad and proud that my daughter (the second apple of your eye) was there to tell you goodbye from both of us.



And whenever I leave flowers at my dad's grave – as I did a couple weeks ago – I swing out across a couple county lines and leave some for Norm (and Nan) as well. My dad gave me life; Norm, through his daughter and his own impossible-to-follow example as a father, made my life worth living. Thank you for everything.

Now, let's dab our eyes a moment, and turn October around again. Norman was able to accept my being less than perfect. While no utter blockhead, I certainly did not get my family's greatest share of looks or/and brains. Without a doubt, the wisest person in our family – smartest, loveliest, and most with-it – has got to be baby-sister Alicia (our brother Doc's Ivy-League PhD notwithstanding). Two years ago, she wed her husband Levi in what truly was a fairy-tale wedding. This was in Cambridge (MA, not UK), and somehow they brilliantly managed to reserve Harvard's Fogg Art Museum for their reception… complete with klezmer band (Dad would've loved it!), hora, everything! (I almost got to dance with the lovely – fortunately married – clarinet-player!)


In a bit of stunning inspiration (this is beautifully typical of the two of them), they held this lovely ceremony in October (2005)! The more-recent hole left in our collective hearts by our dad's October-passing was so beautifully mitigated and brought a long way toward healing by Alicia and Levi's wonderful choice of months in which to marry, whatever other factors may have weighed into that choice.

And now it is my delightful honor to announce to the world (the rest of the family already knows: we just confide in other-sister Mew, and it spreads like wildfire in San Jose) that Alicia gave birth late this afternoon to our latest family member, only the second boy of now-seven grandchildren of our parents. With October just now behind her, she and Levi and son yet-to-be-named have graced a whole new month at its outset; previously November was family-famed for being the exclusive territory of older-brother Sarge, it being his birth-month.

Lovely!

What a gorgeous time of year. Let's hear it for October… and now November First!