Actually, while temporarily here in
the ranks of the unemployed, there are three future-focused endeavors I've been
pursuing, though with <guilty blush> varying degrees of active
pursuit:
1) Re-employment, but closer to home
than my most recent employer;
2) Return to college and get a)
associate's degree, b) master's degree, c) etc.; and
3) Find the next steps required toward the priesthood or/and
professed-religious life.
This week I must have fired off
another dozen résumés, as well as hobnobbed and networked at a bustling job
fair. I also paid a courtesy-call on the Provincial House of the religious
(women's) order where I'd applied for an open executive-assistant position early last week. The friendly, upbeat
receptionist there – incredibly, she remembered me! – checked, and confirmed
that only now is the placement-person beginning to review the applications… and
she visibly and verbally crossed her fingers for me!
And: where would we Catholic men be
without our mothers? My own's been urging me to not neglect Items 2) and 3)
above, especially given that many centers of higher education are heavily
plugged into their surrounding communities, and have networks of their own
in-the-know job-placement folks.
Since I had reason to be in that
stretch of Maryland just down the road from Pennsylvania, this afternoon I
dropped in on Mount
St. Mary's University in tiny Emmitsburg, Maryland (home also of the
National Firefighters' Memorial, by the way… and
of an ex-girlfriend, come to think of it, one best referred to as Mrs. Robinson, should I mention her here again).
Clueless as to where most of
anything is on campus, I popped in at the Student Information Center, and was
patiently steered toward the buildings (Admissions, and Seminary) and online
resources, where I could take on all three of the above pursuits.
Even before the Admissions building,
I had to get to the Seminary, find some kind of office and get some info on the
admissions – specifically, to this seminary itself, and in general as a late
vocation to various seminaries and avowed religious orders.
Up the steps – and even before I was
through the thick wooden doors, I saw a smoky chapel straight ahead, and my
pulse doubled instantly. The smoke, of course, was incense, nearly thick enough
to swim through, which I did. A priest was just finishing a Eucharistic
exposition/adoration, and I did manage a glimpse of Jesus Himself
(yes) as the Blessed Sacrament was removed from the monstrance and put in the tabernacle.
(I'll explain these later for you
Protestants… and for many of you Catholics, too; shame on you! For now, all of
you go back to John 6:28-68 and read Jesus' words. If we take
them literally – and every indication is that this is exactly how Jesus meant
them – then the Holy Eucharist is Jesus physically
present among us, period. Or he was lying. You wanna call Jesus a liar?)
In attendance there were a dozen or
more seminarians – to the untrained eye (including my own), looking like
priests in their black-and-whites; among their number as they left
was a Franciscan friar I recognized from the Missionaries
of the Eternal Word, as seen on EWTN. (Mt. St. Mary's Seminary is
their seminary.) As my pulse doubled again, we traded hellos, and he went on
down the hall.
I stopped one of the last
seminarians leaving, asking him whom I should see, or where I should go,
regarding admissions and vocations; he guided me to another seminarian. For a
moment I found I had been politely led into the office of the Monsignor
himself, His Eminence (I’m not sure if that's the correct mode of address) Steven P. Rohlfs, rector and vice-president.
This was for all of five seconds…
which was good, since I would have fainted at seven. His executive assistant
ran a gentle, cheerful, and competent interference, and led me into another
office or two. She asked patient questions, and gave me the seminary's course
catalog, a listing of further resources online (as well as email addresses)
specific to my archdiocese, and some further suggestions. As my heartbeat at
last approached near-normal (although I was now breaking out in a sweat of
mixed enthusiasm, wow, and serious yikes), she also let me know that there'd be
a mass at four (it was now a bit after three-thirty) at the Chapel of the
Immaculate Conception, on campus.
This was halfway between the
Seminary and the University's Administration building… and I never made it as
far as Administration; that'll be Monday's trip: once in the Chapel, I
remained. I had a little time for prayer and meditation, amid the seminarians there,
and further ones joining us seated and kneeling (believe me, I was on my
knees).
Then the priests came in, dressed in
red robes in honor of the martyrdom of St. Matthew (gospel-writer, Apostle, and
entrenched sinner like the rest of us), whose feast day is today. There were eleven
priests, probably twice as many altar servers (adult men, not altar
boys/girls), and dozens of seminarians filling the old, straight-backed pews. I
even got to chant with them in Greek! Incense was once again being wafted about, and I
found myself thinking, "Ohhh, I am so out of my league here…";
I absolutely loved it.
As to being out of my league… well,
the priest doing the homily – quoting his mother (as well he should) – pointed
out that God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. There's
my consolation. I strongly believe I am indeed called into the religious life –
by which I mean professed/avowed religious (monk/friar/brother), and not simply
living religiously. This is not for any worth on my part or in my
nature, but simply because, for whatever reason, there is something (small that
it may be) that I can give the Church, and to the world.
Nothing captivates my mind and heart
(and pulse) like the faith, and all things Catholica – not a lovely woman, not a box of unsorted nineteenth-century
stamps, not even a one-way, first-class ticket to
the country of my choice, with language lessons and native-born, English-fluent
tutor thrown in at no extra charge.
I know this bores some folks to
tears, but for me it is just absolutely thrilling. Most amazing today is that I
didn't leave the Chapel doing a Cupertino. Well, there's always Monday.
Followup: Blue Dog left
a warm (and unexpected) comment:
Blue Dog Sep 21, 2007
Wonderful, uplifting post. My prayers are with
you and I suspect you will be surprised when you finally learn where God in his
wisdom ends up placing you. I know I usually am … surprised that is.
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