Stamps Wankfully Received

A couple weeks ago, under "A Backward Step", I mentioned that I'd pulled a string to get a set of the new Beatles stamps sent over from the UK. My "agent" was to be the brother of a UK-born coworker.

I received the stamps the day after I posted that; this week I finally took the time to email the gentleman – we'll call him "Chester" – my sincere thanks for the stamps. Here's the series of emails that flew back and forth between the US and Merrie Olde (I cc'd his sister – bcc'd my daughter, too; you'll see why):

Subject: Good Morning From the USA!

Good morning, Chester! Your awesome sister passed me your email address, so I'd like to bend your e-ear long enough to give you my warmest thanks and deepest appreciation for sending over those Beatles stamps as soon as Royal Post put them out on the market.

Several times now I've reached into my wallet so I could ensure Sis would send you proper ( = $$$ ) appreciation from your grateful, new Yank-friend, but each time she's refused, and actually given me a threatening look, so I backed off, and wrung my hands helplessly.

Speaking of "Help!": did I say "Thank you" yet?

About twelve years ago, when the boys from Liddypool leapt back onto the world charts with their Anthology and new singles, my older daughter (12 at the time) went wild like the previous generation had. We bought up Beatles albums, original 60s collectibles (and modern 90s equivalents like T-shirts, CDs, etc.), magazines, and so on, for her collection. And she confiscated every last Beatle thing I owned (such as the real, but impossible-to-find, bootleg "Black Album"), as a true fan should do. And we iced the cake by seeing Ringo and his All-Starrs in concert in 1997, and catching a showing in another big city of John's original artworks. Awesome!

In her twenties now, my daughter's tastes have moderated somewhat (i.e., she still loves John and Ringo, yet now drools over Justin Timberlake… where did I go wrong??), but a couple evenings ago I gave her a copy of the Beatles' new "Love" soundtrack, and she grinned and answered with a very American "Sweeet!"

I haven't turned her new Beatles stamps over to her yet (it's tough to pry/prise them out of my fingers), but I will soon… and I think they'll earn an even bigger "Sweeet!" and go to a place of hono(u)r in her apartment/flat: maybe framed or/and mounted.

So again, on my behalf and especially on my daughter's, thank you most kindly from our hearts. Since your sister's threatened me with breaking all my fingers should I mail you money, is there anything hard-to-find in the UK that I could pick up over here and send your way, or hold for your arrival here next month? Warning: any answer including the word "no" or "not" won't be accepted.

Cheers, and warmest regards from America!

Aging Child

His sister responded first:

Sent: Thursday, February 22, 2007 10:27 AM

Hey,

That was an awesome thank you note.

Chet will get such a good chuckle when he reads it.

You're very drole and thanks for taking time out to send it.

Cheers!

And I answered:

Sent: Thursday, February 22, 2007 10:51 AM

Plllppp; your brother's a gentleman, madam. He took the time and the £££ to get this nice collector's item to me, a stranger – and Yank, no less – just on his sister's request. The least I could do was tell him Thanks. I wish I'd done it sooner.

I think at the very least I owe him a couple large warm beers. Although… he oughtn't to cross the Atlantic for something he could find at the corner "pob". Wish I had a spare cowboy hat or something… 

Regards,

Aging Child

***

Sent: Thursday, February 22, 2007 4:10 PM

Hi Aging.

Nice to hear from you, and you are most welcome for the stamps! Clearly you are a major fan, and I trust that you and your Daughter will enjoy them.

There is really no need to offer payment, as, I am just pleased that you like them. So please enjoy them with my best wishes.

Thanks for your kind offer in return Aging Child, and I feel almost compelled to ask for something in return, but the only trouble is, I can't think of anything. However, should anything come to mind, I will let you or Sis know. Thanks for getting in touch.

Best wishes from Chet.

***

Sent: Thursday, February 22, 2007 4:21 PM

Cheers, Chester!  No doubt we'll enjoy! But I'd say most "fans" are superficial; my daughter and I appreciate the Beatles. Why, just a few years ago, she got in a terrible fight (I believe you'd say "row") with a boyfriend – and nearly dumped him – because the tosser insisted Paul did not play bass. Oh, please!

Have a good evening, sir, and here's to your trip over to the Colonies to say hello to Sis next month. I might just put a couple weak American beers in the microwave for you, and have your sister keep them in the oven for your arrival. Eh? 

Regards,

Aging Child

***

Sent: Friday, February 23, 2007 8:45 AM

Cheers Aging Child!

The beer offer sounds good Sir!

I'm not sure if you would be able to get hold of it, but when my sister and I went up to Connecticut one weekend I was offered a bottle of beer that went by the name of 'WANKER', the name of which, immediately tickled my funny bone.

If you know of an outlet that sells this beer locally, I really would appreciate a couple of bottles.

They would take pride of place in my drinks cabinet.

I'm taking it for granted that you are familiar with the term wanker, but if not ,I'm sure my sister will explain.

Please do'nt bust a gut though Michael, as this is purely based on an off chance.

Many thanks 

Chet

***

Sent: Friday, February 23, 2007 9:12 AM

Heh-heh…

Sir, I am a student of languages, so I can speak both American and a bit of English. Attached is something I set your sister to giggling about, when she was new to our department; you'll note that Americans are advised therein on the proper usage of the word "wank", and a few others.

Meanwhile, I just now did a Google image-search for "Wanker Beer"… yow! (And I quickly shut that window; and my computer's still steaming!) I'll check with some of my connections, and see if I can track some down for you… although I might save the labels for myself (just kidding!)

I can see the fellow who offered you that Wanker beer saying cheerfully, "Bottoms up!" and making you choke on the beer. (D'you suppose it's more than coincidence that "Yank" and "Wank" are nearly the same word? Hmm…)

Have a good wankend – I mean, weekend!

Regards,

Aging Child

***

Sent: Friday, February 23, 2007 9:51 AM

Good Heavens!

I think that the advice for travelling in England should be made available to all American would be tourists! It would make life so much easier for both parties, and also bridge the language barrier that exists between both Nations.

I should have known by your use of the word TOSSER in the previous email that you were a linguist.

Thanks for your efforts on the beer front Sir!

Have a great weekend yourself.

Chet

***

Sent: Friday, February 23, 2007 10:09 AM

Actually, your sister gets credit for the "tosser"; I wanted to use "blighter" instead, but I double-checked with her.

And I’m just a student of languages; my dad (RIP) was the linguist, and managed to make a few trips out to Merrie Olde in his later years (among many other countries). Though German, his accent was "British", almost "Oxford"; and he delighted in Shaw's declaration that "England and America are two countries separated by a common language".

So when he returned from the UK once, I asked him if he'd ordered any blood pudding; he answered that not only hadn't he, he'd also been too embarrassed to even order a spotted dick.

Same here. Cheerios!

Regards,

Aging Child