Writers' Wednesday — "Keeping Secrets", Act Three

Happy Wednesday, "House" fans! We continue with Chuckles' (copyrighted) script for the television series "House". The action thus far:

Act One

Act Two

And the question comes up: Does Dr. Gregory House find the friendly but uncooperative Betty Loud harder and harder to stomach? Or is it the other way around? Has the cat got her tongue? Or is it just a gut feeling?

Please note: This script is Copyright © 2006 by Christine Roberts, and is registered with the Writers' Guild of America (WGA).

HOUSE

"Keeping Secrets"

Written by Christine Roberts

Cast

Dr. Gregory House

Dr. James Wilson

Dr. Lisa Cuddy

Dr. Allison Cameron

Dr. Robert Chase

Dr. Eric Foreman

Betty Loud

Kevin Loud

ACT THREE

FADE IN:

INTERIOR BETTY'S ROOM – DAY (DAY 4)

Betty is in her bed hooked up to an IV. Foreman and Chase are in the room when she wakes up.

FOREMAN: Hello again. I'm your doctor, Foreman.

BETTY: I thought Doctor Chase was my doctor.

CHASE: I was till you did your escape trick last night. So now it's Dr. Foreman.

FOREMAN: You need to quit doing this. We don't have that many doctors.

BETTY: Where is my cat?

CHASE: That reminds me.

He hands the cat over to Betty. Betty has a cheerful look on her face as she cuddles the cat.

FOREMAN: What kind of foods are you eating?

BETTY: Just fruits and vegetables.

CHASE: Nothing else?

BETTY: Liquid stuff.

FOREMAN: You mean like soup, broth, et cetera?

BETTY: Yep.

Just then House enters.

HOUSE: I've got a surprise for you.

BETTY: Oh, good – what is it?

HOUSE (to the door): You can come in now.

Betty's brother KEVIN LOUD, in his 40's, enters the room.

KEVIN: Hey, girl.

Betty tries to get out of bed.

BETTY: Kevin!

House stops her.

HOUSE: We're not letting you leave this time.

KEVIN: She's been a real pain in the ass since she's been in here, hasn't she?

HOUSE:   /  FOREMAN:     /     CHASE:

Yes!               I don't think so.      Well, maybe.

KEVIN: That's not a surprise.

BETTY: Kevin?

KEVIN (to House): Have you ever noticed that people with a smart-alecky mouth are hard to deal with?

HOUSE: Nope.

Chase and Foreman snicker as they try not to laugh.

HOUSE (CONT'D): Why don't you and I talk outside?

BETTY: I want to visit with my brother.

KEVIN: I'll be right back. I'm just going outside.

CHASE: We'll keep an eye on her.

Betty plays with the cat.

BETTY: Oh, I've missed you, Chip!

INTERIOR HOSPITAL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

House and Kevin are outside Betty's room, talking.

HOUSE: How well do you know your sister?

KEVIN: What do you mean?

HOUSE: Do you know anything about what type of symptoms she's been experiencing?

KEVIN: I know she lost thirty pounds already.

HOUSE: Try sixty.

Kevin reacts.

KEVIN: Oh, my God – what's been happening to her?

HOUSE: That's what I would like to find out, but she won't tell us anything.

KEVIN: I noticed you have her hooked up to an IV.

HOUSE: She's severely dehydrated, won't drink any water, or even tell us anything.

KEVIN: I'm not surprised. She became a vegan just a week ago.

HOUSE: What else has been happening?

KEVIN: Let's see – there's been a lot of things. She's been having diarrhea, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, sleeping a lot, personality changes, not eating…

HOUSE: How much has she been eating?

KEVIN: Once I was able to get her to eat a meal of one banana, a can of soda and a small dish of dry cereal.

HOUSE: That's not bad.

KEVIN: That was more than what she's eaten in five days put together.

House reacts.

INTERIOR HOUSE'S OFFICE – OUTER OFFICE – DAY

His team is with him. This time the following symptoms are listed on the white board: "vomiting", "sleeping", "personality changes", "lack of appetite", "diarrhea", "nausea", "back pain", "leg pain", "dizziness", and "weight loss".

HOUSE: Okay, people. Apparently her brother is more cooperative than she is. So now we have all the symptoms that she's suffering from. I think. Does anyone want to start the diagnosing?

CAMERON: It could still be hyperparathyroidism?

HOUSE: No.

CAMERON: No?

HOUSE: I thought I just said that.

CAMERON: How can you rule it out?

HOUSE: Because hyperparathyroidism doesn't give you dizziness.

He circles dizziness on the board.

CAMERON: Then how come her tests came back showing too much calcium?

House writes "high calcium" on the board.

WILSON: You said her brother told you she has personality changes. That's another symptom.

House circles "personality changes".

HOUSE: You're both right – and to prove you wrong, we're going to do those same tests again. Any other diagnoses?

CHASE: What about gastritis?

HOUSE: Exactly what I was thinking.

WILSON: That can't be.

HOUSE: Why not?

WILSON: Because gastritis doesn't give you high calcium levels or personality changes.

House tries to say something and then Wilson stops him.

WILSON (CONT'D): Nor dizziness.

HOUSE: True, but you're forgetting something.

WILSON: Like what?

House circles "lack of appetite" on the board, and looks at it.

HOUSE: Doing this would definitely give anyone dizziness.

No one says anything.

HOUSE (CONT'D): Okay I want blood work done one the calcium and Tegretol levels. Plus schedule an endoscopy of the stomach.

Everyone exits.

INTERIOR LAB – DAY

Chase and Cameron are in the lab. Cameron runs some blood samples through an INTEGRATED MODULAR ANALYZER. Chase is looking at a blood smear under the microscope.

CAMERON: Find anything interesting?

CHASE: Nothing so far.

He takes out a different slide, puts it under the microscope and views it.

CAMERON: Hopefully I'll have something here in a minute.

CHASE: Who do you think is right?

CAMERON: You mean…?

CHASE: House, or Wilson?

CAMERON: I don't know. They're both good doctors.

The machine then beeps. Cameron takes out a piece of paper.

CAMERON (CONT'D): Now this is interesting.

They both look at the paper and react.

INTERIOR CUDDY'S OFFICE – DAY

Cuddy and House are arguing.

HOUSE: There you go again, cutting off my scheduled tests that I need done.

CUDDY: Obviously it works.

HOUSE: What?

CUDDY: Well, this is the only way I can get you to come into my office and talk to me about your cases.

HOUSE: You could always come and talk to me.

CUDDY: Oh, yeah – like chase you down the hallway, or interrupt you during clinic visits…

HOUSE (interrupting): I like those.

CUDDY: I've noticed. Now: why are you doing an endoscopy on a parathyroid patient?

HOUSE: She may not have hyperparathyroidism.

CUDDY: Oh? And how do you know this?

HOUSE: Her brother told me.

CUDDY: Her brother is a doctor?

HOUSE: No, but…

Chase and Cameron hurriedly enter. Cameron is holding a piece of paper.

CAMERON: She doesn't have hyperparathyroidism.

She hands the paper to House. House looks at it.

HOUSE: She's a doctor.

HOUSE (to Cameron): You are a doctor, aren't you?

CAMERON: You know my credentials.

CUDDY (to House): Give me that.

House reluctantly hands the paper over to Cuddy.

CHASE: Her calcium levels are normal.

CUDDY: This can't be right. Do it again.

CAMERON: We did. Three times. Each one came out the same.

HOUSE: Now can I have my endoscopy back?

Cuddy is still looking at the test results.

CUDDY: Yeah. Sure. Go ahead.

CUT TO:

INTERIOR SURGERY – LATER

Foreman and Wilson are talking to Betty while she is lying on the table.

FOREMAN: Doctor Wilson will give you something to knock you out so you won't feel anything.

BETTY: Good. I like that.

Foreman picks up a camera with a long cord.

FOREMAN: This is the camera that I will be putting down your throat to see if there is anything wrong with it.

BETTY: Let's get it over with.

WILSON: She's going to be out soon.

BETTY'S POV:

As she sees the camera come straight toward her. She feels it going into her mouth. She has trouble breathing. Then she is unconscious.

WILSON (CONT'D, V.O.): That was close. For a minute there, I thought she wasn't going to be out in time.

VISUAL EFFECTS:

Our POV goes from the camera coming down Betty's throat to where we are now in front of the camera and moving forward down the esophagus. We continue this path until we reach the stomach. Inside of the stomach there is REDNESS around the edges of the stomach. We can see squirts of acid bubbling up in a few places.

FOREMAN (V.O.): Uh-oh.

WILSON (V.O.): What's the verdict?

FOREMAN (V.O.): She has chronic gastritis.

WILSON (V.O.): Chronic? It can't be. Her symptoms have just started.

BACK IN THE ROOM:

FOREMAN: Look for yourself.

Foreman moves out of the way and Wilson looks at it. Foreman magnifies the picture on the monitor.

FOREMAN (CONT'D): She's had this for years.

Wilson reacts.

INTERIOR HOUSE'S OFFICE – OUTER OFFICE – DAY

His team is assembled. "Hyperparathyroidism" is crossed off on the whiteboard. "Gastritis" is written at the top now.

CHASE: How could someone have such high calcium levels in the first place?

WILSON: We know it's not from here. She's only been on IV's and hasn't eaten anything.

HOUSE: So it must be from something at her place. What did you guys find?

FOREMAN: Just medicines.

HOUSE: Where are they?

Foreman brings over a bag and empties it. We see numerous prescription bottles roll out onto the table. Each doctor takes a bottle, reads it and then places it on the table.

CAMERON: So far I don't see anything.

HOUSE: Was there anything else?

CHASE: No. (BEAT): Wait a minute. There were some antacids.

HOUSE: What kind?

Chase grabs a bottle and shows it to House. House looks at it.

HOUSE: Here's your culprit, antacids with calcium.

FOREMAN: Enough there to raise someone's calcium level through the roof.

HOUSE: We'd better get her on some antacids that really work.

INTERIOR BETTY'S ROOM – DAY

Betty is lying in the bed. Kevin is in the chair holding the cat when House enters carrying a tray. There is a cup of water and some white milky stuff in a second, smaller cup.

KEVIN: Did you find out what it is?

HOUSE: Yes. Gastritis.

BETTY: What's that?

HOUSE: It's inflammation of the stomach lining.

He hands her the small cup.

HOUSE: Here – take this.

KEVIN: What is that?

HOUSE: Antacid.

BETTY: I'm already taking antacids.

HOUSE: This one will work.

Betty then swallows the milky liquid.

KEVIN: This will make it go away?

HOUSE: Not exactly.

KEVIN: What do you mean, "not exactly"?

HOUSE: Her condition is chronic.

BETTY: In English, what does that mean?

HOUSE: You've had it for years.

KEVIN:                               /                                     BETTY:

She's only had these symptoms for a week.       It just started!

House can't handle all the noise.

HOUSE: One at a time.

KEVIN: She's only had these symptoms for a little more than a week.

BETTY: It just started!

HOUSE: Are you sure?

BETTY: Yes.

HOUSE: Now how can I believe you, when you wouldn't tell me anything before?

KEVIN: You can believe me when I tell you she hasn't even had this for two weeks.

House reminds himself that Kevin has been cooperating.

HOUSE: You're right.

Cuddy enters.

CUDDY: So how is our patient today?

KEVIN: Apparently your doctor thinks my sister has had this problem for years, when she's just started feeling sick a short time.

CUDDY (to House): Oh, really?

CUDDY (to Kevin): Well, he's our best doctor.

Then she stops when she notices the cat.

CUDDY (CONT'D): It is against hospital rules to have a cat in here.

BETTY: Dr. House went to my apartment and got my cat for me.

House starts thinking, "There goes my job."

CUDDY: Can I speak to you, Doctor?

HOUSE: I'm busy.

CUDDY: I'll be right outside for when you get out.

Cuddy exits.

HOUSE (muttering): I might as well get this over with.

BETTY: What did you say?

HOUSE: Nothing.

He sees how happy Betty is with the cat.

HOUSE (CONT'D): I'll be right back.

Then he exits.

INTERIOR HOSPITAL HALLWAY – CONTINUOUS

Cuddy is already waiting when House enters the hallway.

CUDDY: Are you insane?

HOUSE: Didn't we have this conversation before?

CUDDY: You must be crazy, thinking about bringing a cat into a sterile environment like a hospital.

HOUSE: Yes. I remember a conversation starting like this.

He then swallows some Vicodin.

CUDDY: Why did you bring the cat over?

HOUSE: Technically, I didn't bring the cat over.

CUDDY: No, you didn't.

HOUSE: At least we agree on something.

CUDDY: Knowing you, you had some of your doctors do the dirty work for you.

House points his finger at Cuddy. He is about to say something when he hears a voice.

KEVIN (O.S.): Doctor! Somebody help!

House opens up the door and the cat runs out. Both House and Cuddy exit the hallway.

INTERIOR BETTY'S ROOM – CONTINUOUS

As House and Cuddy enter. They rush past Kevin and head toward Betty. Betty is lying on the bed unconscious.

KEVIN (CONT'D): What's wrong with her?

House checks for her pulse as Cuddy uses her stethoscope.

CUDDY: I'm having trouble hearing anything.

HOUSE: Her heart is barely fibrillating.

KEVIN: What's happening?

HOUSE: She's dying.

KEVIN: She can't!

House has a worried look on his face as we…

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT THREE