Writers' Wednesday — "Keeping Secrets", Act Two

Good evening, fans of the medical world... and other hypochondriacs! We resume watching (well, reading) Chuckles' very first original script for the TV series "House"; the first part can be found here: Act One.

Please do not be alarmed if you feel faint, or are finding your cat eats better than you. Dr. Gregory House has that covered. Oh, and if you see a small, cheery, underweight woman in a paper hospital-smock, wandering downtown, call an ambulance... Dr. Chase lost his patient again.

Please note: This script is Copyright © 2006 by Christine Roberts, and is registered with the Writers' Guild of America (WGA).

HOUSE

"Keeping Secrets"

Cast

Dr. Gregory House

Dr. James Wilson

Dr. Allison Cameron

Dr. Robert Chase

Dr. Eric Foreman

Betty Loud

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

INTERIOR BETTY'S ROOM – DAY (DAY 3)

BETTY'S POV:

Betty is waking up to find Chase and Foreman in the room.

BETTY: Oh… my head hurts.

FOREMAN: That's probably from the seizure you had.

CHASE: Why did you leave the hospital?

BETTY: I forgot to take my medicine.

FOREMAN: Your Tegretol?

BETTY: Yes.

Betty reacts.

BETTY (CONT'D): How did you know?

CHASE: We're vampires.

BETTY (sarcastic): Great. And I left my garlic at home.

FOREMAN: Allergic to any meds?

BETTY: Benadryl.

Foreman and Chase look at each other.

CHASE: That explains it.

BETTY: Explains what?

FOREMAN: The seizure you had.

BETTY: What seizure?

CHASE: She's not quite here yet.

House slowly enters.

HOUSE: Find out anything?

FOREMAN: (smart-aleck): Yeah; according to Chase she's not all here yet.

House looks at Chase.

CHASE: She's allergic to Benadryl.

HOUSE (to Foreman): I like Chase's answer better.

Foreman reacts.

HOUSE (CONT'D): Do you have a habit of leaving hospitals?

BETTY: No.

HOUSE: Wow! More information. I'm shocked.

BETTY: Probably because I'm in pain.

HOUSE: You're more cooperative this way.

Betty passes out.

HOUSE (CONT'D): Damn! She's asleep again. How much weight has she lost?

Then takes some more Vicodin.

FOREMAN: Another five pounds. Want me to schedule an MRI?

HOUSE: She's Chase's patient now. I disowned her. Remember?

CHASE: I thought you were joking.

HOUSE: What we need is some information.

House looks at Betty.

HOUSE (CONT'D): And since Florence Nightingale over here won't give us any info…

CHASE: Oh… no.

FOREMAN: You're going to have us break into her place?

HOUSE: I love it when we think alike.

House exits.

HOUSE (O.S., CONT'D): Don't forget the MRI. With and without contrast.

INTERIOR BETTY'S APARTMENT – DAY

As Chase and Foreman are looking through her things. Chase is examining the kitchen, while Foreman is going over the living room.

INTERIOR KITCHEN – DAY

Chase opens up the refrigerator. He has a surprised look on his face as he notices it is almost empty.

CHASE: Man. There's hardly any food left.

FOREMAN (O.S.): Well, she hasn't been eating much.

CHASE: Hello…

INTERIOR LIVING ROOM – DAY

Foreman stops looking.

FOREMAN: Who are you talking to?

INTERIOR KITCHEN – DAY

CHASE: I don't know his name, but it's a cat.

Foreman enters; we see a cat that is overweight.

FOREMAN: At least the cat is eating.

The cat rubs against Chase's leg.

CHASE: This is not good.

FOREMAN: (laughing): I think he likes you.

CHASE: Man, get him off of me!

FOREMAN: He's not on you – he's right next to you.

Foreman exits.

CHASE: (to the cat) Will you move!

The cat just sits there. Chase notices some pills on the counter and puts them in a bag.

INTERIOR BEDROOM – CONTINUOUS

Foreman is looking around as Chase enters.

FOREMAN: Find anything?

CHASE: A few things.

FOREMAN: I'll check the bathroom.

INTERIOR BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS

Foreman opens up the medicine cabinet. We see all sorts of prescription medicines and over-the-counter drugs.

FOREMAN (CONT'D): Got any baggies?

CHASE (O.S.): Yeah, about ten.

FOREMAN: I think we need more.

CHASE (O.S.): What are you talking about?

Chase enters and has a surprised look on his face. Foreman dials his cell phone.

INTERCUT

INTERIOR HOUSE'S OFFICE – INNER OFFICE – DAY

House is in his office when his cell phone rings.

HOUSE: Yeah. What have you got?

FOREMAN: You wouldn't believe how much medicine this girl is taking.

HOUSE: Anything to counteract with the Tegretol?

FOREMAN: None that I can find so far.

HOUSE: Okay… come in when…

We hear a cat meowing on the phone.

HOUSE (CONT'D): What was that?

FOREMAN: That cat followed us in here.

HOUSE: In where?

CHASE: The bathroom.

HOUSE: Bring the cat in, too.

CHASE: Are you serious?

HOUSE: Yes. Do you have trouble hearing?

CHASE: (cautiously): No.

House has an angry look on his face as he hangs up.

INTERIOR BETTY'S BATHROOM – DAY

Chase and Foreman look at each other.

FOREMAN: Which one of us is going to get the cat?

They both look at each other.

INTERIOR HOUSE'S OFFICE – INNER OFFICE – DAY

His team is with him. There is a cat carrier on House's desk. The cat is meowing during their conversation.

HOUSE: What did you find on the MRI?

CAMERON: Nothing.

HOUSE: Nothing?

CAMERON: Yep. Nothing unusual.

HOUSE (to the cat): Hush up.

HOUSE (CONT'D, to Chase) What did you find?

CHASE: Lots of over-the-counter stuff that everybody takes.

FOREMAN: There were a lot of prescription pills for pain.

HOUSE (to the cat) Will you shut up!

HOUSE (CONT'D, to Foreman): Continue.

FOREMAN: I found a bottle of antidepressants.

House reacts.

HOUSE: Let me see those.

FOREMAN: I counted them. There's only one missing.

HOUSE: Only one?

FOREMAN: Yep.

House reads the information on the bottle.

HOUSE: Apparently this doctor was thinking the same thing we are.

WILSON: Hyperparathyroidism.

HOUSE: Yep. That's why he prescribed the antidepressants. Why don't you see if we can get any information from this doctor.

WILSON: Won't that be difficult without the patient's consent?

HOUSE: Who said we weren't?

CAMERON: How do you plan on getting the patient to sign a release from?

HOUSE: Hum… I'll show you how a master does it.

House puts the bottle in his pocket.

WILSON: You need them?

HOUSE: Do not.

WILSON: Then put them back.

House places them on the table.

HOUSE (to cat): Either be quiet, or I'll schedule you for neutering this afternoon.

HOUSE (CONT'D, to Wilson): Anything new on our escape artist?

WILSON: Well, she did lose five more pounds.

HOUSE: That's thirty percent of her total weight so far.

WILSON: Which means she's hit a danger spot.

CHASE: Which means she could also be having headaches, broken blood vessels in the eye, swelling of the parotid gland.

CAMERON: Oligomenorrhea, or worse – amenorrhea.

FOREMAN: Any or all of these won't be good with someone having epilepsy.

HOUSE: Yep. Considering she's keeping information from us isn't helping her situation at all.

FOREMAN: Since she already has epilepsy she shouldn't be wandering off, either.

HOUSE: What else can happen?

No one says anything.

HOUSE: Okay. Let me rephrase that. What is the worst that can happen?

CHASE: Her body is going to find ways to compensate for the starvation.

CAMERON: Causing a decrease in the metabolic rate to conserve energy and make the body break down.

FOREMAN: To the point where she'll definitely have grand mals, possibly go into a coma or have a cardiac arrest and die from all of this.

They all react.

HOUSE: This is why I had you guys bring the cat in, because Betty is going to be heading back to her apartment to feed her cat.

FOREMAN: There is no way she can. We've got security keeping an eye out for her if she tries to leave the hospital again.

HOUSE: Would you like to make a bet?

WILSON: I would.

Then he gets his wallet out and lays some bills on the table. House puts some down as well

CAMERON: Aren't you afraid of the cat spreading germs around here?

HOUSE: I called the vet from the number on the tag, and the cat is updated on his shots. Besides – he has a thing for Chase.

CHASE: No he doesn't.

HOUSE: You're forgetting, people, this patient has a history of leaving this place, and the only reason she keeps coming back here is the ambulance drivers know where she lives.

HOUSE (CONT'D): (to the cat) That does it! If you don't quit meowing, I'll do your neutering myself! Got it?

The cat is quiet as House begins to exit. Everyone else reacts. The prescription bottle is no longer on the table. House stops at the doorway.

HOUSE (CONT'D): Start her on a new IV. I want you to test her and see if she is anemic yet. Make sure you have enough perfusion to equilibrate her ions.

Then House exits.

INTERIOR BETTY'S ROOM – DAY

House and Wilson enter. House is carrying a clipboard. Betty is hooked up to an IV.

HOUSE: Having fun?

BETTY: Oh sure. I love it so much I want to get out of here.

House hands her the clipboard.

HOUSE: I have a release form for you to sign.

BETTY: For what?

HOUSE: To get information from your doctor about this.

He shows her the bottle of antidepressants.

BETTY: I don't want those.

Now he is surprised.

HOUSE: You don't.

BETTY: Nope. You can have them.

House looks at Wilson while he puts the bottle in his pocket.

HOUSE: Just for that, I'll get you off the IV and start you on real food. Maybe chicken and seafood.

Betty reacts. She hurriedly unhooks her IV, runs to the bathroom, and slams the door shut. We hear vomiting.

WILSON: So this is how the master does it?

House grabs her record and begins reading it.

WILSON (CONT'D): You have a strange effect on people.

HOUSE: How long has she been vomiting?

Wilson thinks about it.

HOUSE (CONT'D): Of course, this is another symptom she isn't mentioning.

House dashes to the bathroom.

HOUSE (CONT'D, to Wilson): Go get help.

Wilson hurriedly exits.

HOUSE (CONT'D): (to Betty): How long have you been doing this?

We don't hear anything. Wilson enters with a nurse. She uses a key to unlock the door.

HOUSE (CONT'D): Betty. Are you okay?

The nurse opens the door and we find Betty passed out on the floor.

INTERIOR BETTY'S APARTMENT – NIGHT

It is dark as Betty unlocks the door. She enters and turns on the light. She walks over to the kitchen.

BETTY: Chip! Where are you?

Then a light comes on from the living room. House is sitting in a chair in the living room. Betty reacts to the light.

HOUSE: If you are looking for your cat, he isn't here.

BETTY: How did you know? Did you take him?

House walks over to Betty.

HOUSE: Why aren't you in the hospital?

BETTY: I came back 'cause I was worried about my cat.

HOUSE: I figured you would be back here. We told you we have any medicine you need, so you wouldn't have to leave – so you come back here anyway.

BETTY: What you are doing is illegal.

HOUSE: So is endangering your health.

BETTY: Huh?

HOUSE: How long have you been vomiting?

BETTY: Since I quit eating meat.

HOUSE: You are a vegetarian?

BETTY: Nope; a vegan.

House is confused now.

HOUSE: What foods have you been eating?

Betty begins putting her hands around her face. Her speech slurs while talking.

BETTY: You didn't say… anything (slurred) about the cat.

HOUSE: What's the matter?

Betty does not to answer.

HOUSE (CONT'D): Hey, Betty! Answer me!

Betty still keeps her hands on her face and doesn't answer.

BETTY'S POV:

House is talking to her and she cannot hear anything.

HOUSE (CONT'D): Betty!

Betty's eyes become glazed. House gets out his cell phone and begins dialing.

HOUSE (CONT'D): This is House. I need an ambulance…

BETTY'S POV

She is looking at House, and then everything goes black.

HOUSE (V.O.) (CONT'D): I should be getting paid more for this.

And we…

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT TWO