Christmas Present, and Restoring the Past

I've been silent and absent from my blog, these past many weeks, owing simply to concentration on getting myself back into the workforce, and juggling too many bills with too little money. I've had several job interviews, including three or four I'm still waiting to hear back about, and will have to politely nudge the firms back on. 

Getting through this on a daily basis has been at times, I admit, all along the gamut from annoying to depressing to downright frightening. This leaves little creative energy to muse online, I'm afraid… and even that little, particular awareness is one more source of (slight) stress. Still, I'm itching to put up a couple essays here – neither one mine… and so, come to think of it, all the more worth the read – between now and Christmas. 

First, as a little bit of what-I've-been-up-to, here's a pair of emails to and from me. The sender, Augusta, is a writer and amateur genealogist I met online through trying to restore an old book to its owners' descendant(s). At an antique store early this year when I had the money, I bought a stamp-album almost a century old, with several hundred very old stamps in it, to augment my and my family's collection. The album had a handwritten inscription identifying its original owner by full name (and his gift-giver), including his somewhat unusual last name; indicators were that it had been given around 1907 or 1908, and used for just a couple years before being set aside for still-unknown reasons. 

…with some great stamps in it! These I removed carefully (though in two instances damaging a page), and then proceeded to track down the owner's family to send it back to them, given its great overall condition, and the name and personal inscription in it. Augusta responded to my inquiry, and I sent her the album; she was later able to nail the original owner down precisely – a brother of her great-grandfather, I believe. We also keep each other updated on some goings-on in our families. 

Yes, yes; this is pretty far afield from Christmas. Bear with me. 

I kept the stamps, of course… but ultimately decided to hang onto only those that were not duplicates of ones I already own. (I've still more than recouped the purchase price – several times over – in terms of market-prices on the stamps I kept.) All the rest I sent back to Augusta over the course of the year, a couple countries' worth at a time, after researching and identifying them for her so she could put them back in her ancestor's album and so restore it (as much as possible) to its condition when he'd owned it. I held back only the stamps of Germany and the pre-unification (1871, not 1990) German states, since the jewel and hub of my and my family's collection is what remains of my German grandfather's own collection, and these needed exhaustive looking-over before returning. 

Starting next year, other duties permitting, I'll send Augusta one each of all my non-Grandfather pre-WWI duplicates so she can actually augment her ancestor's album to perhaps what it could have been like had he kept at it, and as a kind of thank-you (or maybe apology) for keeping some of her great-grand-uncle's things. 

Christmas is a time of giving… and giving is not just a December-thing. Thank you. 

-----Original Message-----
From: Augusta Lovelace [mailto: AgustaLovelace@CondeNast.net]
Sent: Saturday, December 20, 2008 8:17 PM
To: 'Aging Child'
Subject: Hi A. Gene 

Hi Gene, 

I am finally finished and can take a break for the day!  How are you? How is your Mother? 

I did receive your last batch of stamps.  I have them tucked away for the week after Christmas when everything dies down to a dull roar and I can have time to myself.  A snowy, cold day would be an ideal day to work on them.  I do appreciate you sending all of them to me.  It will be such a nice album when I have finished it. 

I have my projects lined up for after the holidays.  The stamp album, painting, getting back to my novel (practicing with my dragon naturally speaking).  I have tried using it before but it takes a while to speak clearly and slowly so that the computer types what you are saying and not some other words.  It is great for writing once you learn the ins and outs of it. 

Our daughter had a Christmas party at her place last night.  We didn't stay too late as I was tired after going all day.  She had about 25 people at the party.  It was nice thought to be able to sit, have a drink and have absolutely nothing to do but that. 

I received a Christmas card and a letter from a distant cousin who had sent me all his Lovelace genealogy.  He said that he had been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease.  He and his wife are such energetic people and great travelers.  I felt so bad for him as in time he knows that he will not be able to do all that he loved to do in the past.  Sometimes life can seem like a cruel joke. 

Our tree is up and decorated, the house is done, the lights are up outside, the house is cleaned, the gifts are wrapped and tomorrow the cookies will be baked and then I will do absolutely nothing for two days. 

Hope that you have a Merry Christmas and the very best in the New Year! 

Talk to you soon, 

Augusta 

-----Original Message-----
From: Aging Child [mailto:AGeneChilde@YouWho.com]
Sent: Sunday, December 21, 2008 12:47 PM
To: 'Augusta'
Subject: RE: Hi, Augusta 

Good afternoon, Augusta, and Merry Christmas! 

My mother's health continues to get much better – for example, she filled out her own Christmas cards… then I'd add a note from me to the recipient, translating my mother's scrawl (it's definitely improving) and updating them on her progress, before sealing, stamping, and sending off. I think she and my sister are actually shopping right now, something wonderful for my mother's morale (and the morale of the rest of us, too). 

For myself… well, the job hunt goes on unabated – if I even just slowed down at it, or gave up, the panic/desperation at the fringes would creep in, with money and resources just about entirely drained, and only very spotty work at best (filling in two days this coming week, and four the week after). On better days I feel very confident and determined and undeterred; bad days… well, it's almost as though I'm walking along a cliff's edge in a hurricane, and earthquake. But I go on… I have to. 

Though perhaps I could easily find reasons to justify it to myself, I can't buy into (not for very long) a view on life as a cruel joke. After a long busy life, your distant cousin now still has a good stretch of time to pull back in and reflect on the joys his life has been enriched with, and an opportunity to turn now to something even more internal and spiritual, with the love of his life to help carry him through. We have to look on the difficulties and hurdles coming our way as further avenues for God to reach us and vice-versa, opportunities of grace, not of cold blows. (This is something I really need to keep in mind!) 

With the support of his family, your cousin has it within and about him to deal very well, all things considered, with Parkinson's. The toughest thing isn't to bear up under the difficulties of that disease (as my mother and our family are bearing up under her strokes), so much as trusting in God, and allowing our lives and future to rest in His hands, in His control, while doing what we still very much can do. Yet I know this may provide little-at-all consolation, and might just come across as trivializing a very sobering diagnosis and prospect. So please pardon the preachiness; I suspect rather uncomfortably that your cousin would no doubt prefer my unemployment to his prognosis. I wish I could do more than add him and his wife to my prayers, but I do just that. 

And speaking of family, with a profound apology for the poor segue: 

I went through my German stamps and [your great-granduncle]'s, and am ready to catalog that last batch of [his] and send them back your way… though I'll wait for the postal system to wind down a bit, plus final Christmas preparations here – seems I spend all Advent, once I get started, always adding one more thing to the tree, and just one other decoration indoors and out. With Mother away and the economy and prospects extremely troubling, it's that much more important to embrace and engage in the traditions that are part of what make this time of year so special, magical, and holy. 

And so I wish you, your family, and especially your cousin and his wife and his own family, my warmest wishes and prayers for a good, lovely, Merry Christmas, and a sweet, happy new year. Till then! 

A. Gene Childe