Epilog: One More Look at Jane

Listening now to 1980 music in my car, and thinking still about the words and feelings I'd blogged here a couple days ago, I nearly ran up over the sidewalk this morning when I caught the lyrics early-on in "Against the Wind" by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band. It's the title track from their best-selling album, and hit the music stores just half a year after Jane and I had our surprising, boundless summer.

Listening closely to the words Bob sang, nearly every single one of them sounded like my own thoughts on looking back. With the exception of "like a wildfire out of control, till there was nothing left to burn, and nothing left to prove", and "she swore that it would never end", I could have been singing the song myself. (There was no lack of control, nor anything burning up and away; but we also had no conscious sense of its never ending – rather, we just lived in very-real, very-intense and sweet now. Baba Ram Dass would have been proud of us.)

I mentioned on Monday several songs with passages, or note-structure, that still seem to describe bits and pieces of The Summer of Jane. I forgot about this one, though – I was looking at songs that were playing even while she and I sat and whispered under the night sky, or held hands at Pizza Hut ®. I have no memory of being mentally clobbered at the time, back in May of 1980 when the song peaked… nor of feeling the least bit guilty with my girlfriend, when/if we heard it together. But I must have noticed some of the parallels then; I guess the memory of that thought has long-since evaporated.

So I went out on the 'net earlier this afternoon, in search of the lyrics in order to post them here – easy to find, of course. But what I couldn't track down was the copyright information, so once again my neck might be jutting out just a bit, legal-wise. I can find where Bob Seger is credited with writing both the music and the lyrics; the album itself was released in February of 1980 by Capitol Records under Catalog Number 724358431629 (technically, that number's for the remaster). More than this I haven't been able to dredge up – so for that purpose, let me paraphrase here the legal disclaimer from a lyrics-posting site:

These lyrics are the property of, and copyrighted by, their owner(s), and are provided here for educational and illustrative purposes only, okay? Thank you.

Against the Wind 

It seems like yesterday,
But it was long ago:
Janey was lovely, she was the queen of my nights,
There in the darkness, with the radio playing low.

And the secrets that we shared,
The mountains that we moved:
Caught like a wildfire out of control,
Till there was nothing left to burn, and nothing left to prove.

And I remember what she said to me,
How she swore that it never would end;
I remember how she held me, oh so tight—
Wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then…

Against the wind,
We were running against the wind:
We were young and strong—
We were running
Against the wind.

And the years rolled slow past,
And I found myself alone,
Surrounded by strangers I thought were my friends;
I found myself further and further from my home.

And I guess I lost my way;
There were oh-so-many roads:
I was living to run, and running to live,
Never worried about paying — or even how much I owed.

Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time,
Breaking all the rules that would bend,
I began to find myself searching,
Searching for shelter again and again.

Against the wind,
A little something against the wind:
I found myself seeking shelter
Against the wind.

Well, those drifter's days are past me now;
I’ve got so much more to think about:
Deadlines and commitments;
What to leave in, what to leave out.

Against the wind:
I’m still running against the wind;
I’m older now, and I’m still
Against the wind, against the wind… 

I'm being really disproportionate, by the way, in spotlighting this memory here (again!). Jane and I had maybe two or three special months, if even that, together, before the world started back up and spun us each off in very different directions. Certainly since then (and even before), I've had girlfriends (and a wife!) who've had much more profound effects on my heart and life. 

Spartacus weighed in yesterday morning with these words:

WOW--heck of a poem, and heckuva blog entry! The whole thing was somewhat evocative of the feelings I get when listening to Bob Seger's "Night Moves". Though obviously our experiences were different, there still seems to be an almost universal element to what you described--when the world was fresh and young, before commitments and experience irrevocably changed things, an intensity, novelty...

Starship's "Jane", "My Sharona", etc… the musical citations are like Proust's Madeleine, evoking emotions far out of proportion to their (apparent) mundane pop culture footnote (or cookie) status. As you rightly point out, these are part of the soundtrack to (y)our lives--anybody who enjoys music could empathize.

Yikes, I gotta quit before I dissolve into even more incoherent blabbering. You've got a poet's soul, and the verbal/written chops to let it shine!

(Interesting bit with the Proust, there, Sparty – that was a new one on me; but from what I've read online to grasp hold of your reference, you seem to have hit the nail very well with my head; thanks!)

My memories of the women who've graced my life (even the one I backed myself into divorcing) are nearly all good in all ways. Each one has added her own share of the patina that makes my heart shine, and even the occasional dent, ding, or/and scar left in their wake has – in the long run – left me the stronger… and added rich "character" to the finish.

I hope their own experience and recollection are either as warm, or much more forgetful and forgiving. Where I'm still in touch, now and then, with a couple of them, I, uh, don't dare ask. If ignorance isn't bliss, then at least it should be allowed to reinforce the compassionate amnesia.

Followup: a comment came through over a year later:

witch1 Dec 31, 2008

Simply Wow!…Thank you and Blessings